i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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