He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
