Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
