I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
false alarm, still single
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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