Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
