I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
