Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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