Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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