I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
