? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
