It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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