we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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