apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
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