my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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