Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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