so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
His hands were made for my vagina.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize