my vag is so smooth its legendary
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
