I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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