You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
