Ketchup is God's man juice
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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