i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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