they need to just BURY HIM!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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