do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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