didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
