So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
