I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
