There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
