They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
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