So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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