An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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