But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
