okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
