Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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