I wanna bring you to show and tell
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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