And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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