Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
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