Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
