I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
