so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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