Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
