meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
