I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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