So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
