Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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