Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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