I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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