The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
