Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
All I want is dick and wine.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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