Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
