Don't make out with my wife yet
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
