I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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