Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize