I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
