I'm so fucking centered right now
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
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P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
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Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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