It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
