theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
