after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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