I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
