So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
