If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
