i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
