Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
